Economist Jokes

I was unsure whether or not to put this in Business and Finance, but seeing as this forum is a little folamh, I thought I'd put it in here.

1."Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things."

2.Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away.
"Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"
"Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."

3.A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

4.Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a metre to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a metre to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"

I'll look for more!

A scientist and an economist are marooned on a desert island. The good
news is that the pair find a crate of tinned peaches washed up on the
beach. The bad news is that they don't have a can opener.Faced
with this predicament, the scientist scours the island in vain for a
rock with which to prise open the tins. The economist, meanwhile, sits
serenely on the beach enjoying the view. When the scientist expresses
concern at his insouciant behaviour in the face of potential
starvation, the economist replies that he sees no problem because they
will eat when they are hungry. "How can we do that without a
tin opener?", asks the scientist. "Assume we have a tin opener",
replies the economist, "and then it's easy."

A woman hears from her doctor that she has only 6 months to live.
The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota.
The woman asks, "will this cure my illness"?
The Doctor replies "No, but the 6 months will seem pretty long".

lol

Found a load of economist jokes here.

Some good ones:

Quote :

Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

A party of economists was climbing in the Alps . After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass, and finally the sun.
Finally he said, ' OK see that big mountain over there?'
'Yes', answered the others eagerly.
'Well, according to the map, we're standing on top of it.'

Watch out! I'm shifting the supply curve to the right!

5.Economist poem
If you do some acrobatics
with a little mathematics
it will take you far along.
If your idea's not defensible
don't make it comprehensible
or folks will find you out,
and your work will draw attention
if you only fail to mention
what the whole thing is about.
Your must talk of GNP
and of elasticity
of rates of substitution
and undeterminate solution
and oligonopopsony.
Kenneth E. BOULDING

6.Q. What do economists and computers have in common ??
A. You need to punch information into both of them.

7.Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea ??
A. If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.

8.Two economists were walking down the street when they noticed two women yelling across the street at each other from their apartment windows.


Of course they will never come to agreement, stated the first economist.

And why is that, inquired his companion,
Why, of course, because they are arguing from different premises.

If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. GB Shaw

An economist is someone who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. Alfred A Knopf

Economics is an extremely useful form of employment for economists. JK Galbraith

One definition of an economist is someone who sees something happen in practice and wonders if it would work in theory. Ronald Reagan

Teach a parrot the terms 'supply' and 'demand' and you've got an economist. Thomas Carlyle

Economists are people who like to work with numbers but don't have the personality to be accountants. Anon

I love the Ronald Reagan one.

EvotingMachine0197 wrote:

I love the Ronald Reagan one.

Yeah, it's pretty good.

I *heart* economist jokes.

I'm nearly sure I've been through all these before.

I didn't realise I'd be laughing out loud so much at economic jokes. Must be getting old.

Auditor #9 wrote:

I didn't realise I'd be laughing out loud so much at economic jokes. Must be getting old.

Now, now, you leave the US alone.

cookiemonster wrote:

I *heart* economist jokes.

I'm nearly sure I've been through all these before.

You probably did, they're always centrally-located on catch-all websites.

You could almost say the market in economist jokes exhibits oligopolistic tendencies.

Are all those jokes true, Ard-Taoiseach?

Auditor #9 wrote:

Are all those jokes true, Ard-Taoiseach?

Statistically, no. Realistically, yes.

Let's keep a good thing going!

Economist chat-up line No.1
"Oh baby, you increase my interest rates while not deflating my consumer demand"

Economist chat-up line No.2
"Oh baby, you elasticise my demand curve while keeping profits super-normal"

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

Let's keep a good thing going!

Economist chat-up line No.1
"Oh baby, you increase my interest rates while not deflating my consumer demand"

Economist chat-up line No.2
"Oh baby, you elasticise my demand curve while keeping profits super-normal"

You had me at "demand curve".

Why don't we hear of female economists?

(It's a serious question in expectation of not terribly serious answers....)

cookiemonster wrote:

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

Let's keep a good thing going!

Economist chat-up line No.1
"Oh baby, you increase my interest rates while not deflating my consumer demand"

Economist chat-up line No.2
"Oh baby, you elasticise my demand curve while keeping profits super-normal"

You had me at "demand curve".

Kate P wrote:

Why don't we hear of female economists?

(It's a serious question in expectation of not terribly serious answers....)

They've either too much sense or know it all already. Sure the whole concept of pursuit of self-interest in Smith's work has been undermined by successive research into game theory and sociology.

Kate P wrote:

Why don't we hear of female economists?

(It's a serious question in expectation of not terribly serious answers....)

I know a female economist. Though she was lost to accounting last I heard. Her mind was far to rational for economics. Made for some great discussions though.

Economist chat-up line no.3
"You increase my long-term potential growth rate without demand pulling my inflation, gorgeous"

At least we can rest assured that while there may be occasional mutations among the general population, there's no danger of the economist population breeding itself into perpetuity.

Kate P wrote:

At least we can rest assured that while there may be occasional mutations among the general population, there's no danger of the economist population breeding itself into perpetuity.

Which is your favourite line?