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 Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret

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PostSubject: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:18 pm

I defy anyone who is not familiar with them to navigate the motorways/roads out of Dublin to Cork without getting lost. So far as I can make out there is just one mention of the best city in the country on one sign - and even then it refers to a road that is off another road i.e. 'Cork N7 (N8)' Thereafter, you are on your own and must rely on your compass, the stars and any other form of traditional navigation that you may be experienced at. Maps are pretty useless because they are never up to date. This has been the situation for years - in keeping with successive Irish governments determination to ensure we are the worst signposted country in the world and that tourists are kept in a state of permanent frustration and rage - and never succeed in arriving at their intended destinations.

Suspicions about a conspiracy by Dubliners to hide the fact of Cork's existence out of jealousy and spite are confirmed by the fact that despite squillions being spent on the new motorways on the western side of Dublin virtually none of the latest signposts make mention of Cork. Not even at the brand new primary junctions and exits. There is one critical exit on the road to Lucan which you have to take if you want to make it to Cork but the new blue sign mentions only Dun Laoighre and South Dublin. Oversight? Mistake? Mere incompetence? While the latter is certainly a plausible explanation, I'm not falling for it! You Dubliners really have to get over this inferiority complex! And besides, it's no use, the fabulous City of Cork and its fantastic inhabitants are impossible to hide. Our reputation is such that mere word of mouth is more than compensation enough for the pettiness of Dubliners. Up Cork! Up the rebel county!


Last edited by Aragon on Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:21 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : typo)
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:35 pm

Up Cork indeed. Very Happy

I don't think it is deliberate. Signposting in Ireland is a mystery, rather than a conspiracy.
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:40 pm

Tisn't only Cork Aragon. Back in the days when I used to drive and lived in Limerick, I dreaded coming to Dublin. Getting there was no problem.

The most helpful of signposts to be found informed me of where 'west' was. Or rather 'the west.' Course Dublin isn't Rome and even the supposedly helpful signs that pointed out the cardinal directions were lying (bastards!!).

I remember one particular occassion when I'd delivered a carload of screaming women to Dublin airport (an ex of mine and her friends, bound for sunny Turkey). Took me late into the next day to get home. Got to visit some interesting places though. Zipped past most of them doing speeds close to three digits, roaring multi-syllabic words patched together with expletives.

Millions of bloody signs, all of them trying to sell you shit or talking it.
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 1:06 pm

Sign posting is the bailiwick of the Local Authorities. This has led to an unholy mess and I think the NRA may have taken over setting the standards. Some of the signposting in the country is actually comical and one would wonder what kind of eejits are being kept in jobs. Are the same people who are in charge of buying traffic cones also incharge of signage?

I have to say that I had great respect for Seamus Brennan's decision to scrap the unreadable signage the was being put up around the canal in Dublin with the inner ring / outer ring system. Very sad to hear of Seamus's passing away today.

As for Cork... I am not not sure that I have heard of it... though there is rumour of a mythical port city in the south that makes outsiders feel unwelcome and doesn't want non-local people to know where it is. Is that the place you are talking of?
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 1:19 pm

Hey!

[Why does that smug dude in the shades insist on appearing when I type in what is supposed to be 'bracket capital-enn eight close bracket apostrophe' as in (N8)' ]

Quote :
As for Cork... I am not not sure that I have heard of it... though there is rumour of a mythical port city in the south that makes outsiders feel unwelcome and doesn't want non-local people to know where it is. Is that the place you are talking of?

That's Waterford.

have to disagree with you Hermes - Limerick gets way more menshes than Cork on the signs. Dublin isn't afraid of Limerick in the same way for lots of reasons Wink
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 1:34 pm

Ah, so that's Waterford. They were telling lies though don't you know. My sister lived in Waterford and she was made feel very welcome. She had a circle of friend within a couple of months of moving down there.


Is Cork perhaps the mythical beautiful cultural capital of the south where a proud and honourable race spend their entire time being either ignored or persecuted by the rest of the country; but never complaining? A place where people with Dublin registered cars are welcome on the quays and are given every chance to familiarise themselves with the exciting and innovative lane system that operates?
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 1:59 pm

Aragon wrote:
have to disagree with you Hermes - Limerick gets way more menshes than
Cork on the signs. Dublin isn't afraid of Limerick in the same way for
lots of reasons

I haven't driven in many years, so it's very possibly different now. I still take the bus back to Limerick every now and then and can still say, that in all honesty, the signage is dire.

Anyway, don't fall for the 'divide and conquer' routine. Let's tool up, join forces and exploit the respective fears our home county's instill in the Jackeens. Very Happy

If we had a smiley with a dagger I could be a lot funnier.
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 2:03 pm

Hermes wrote:
Aragon wrote:
have to disagree with you Hermes - Limerick gets way more menshes than
Cork on the signs. Dublin isn't afraid of Limerick in the same way for
lots of reasons

I haven't driven in many years, so it's very possibly different now. I still take the bus back to Limerick every now and then and can still say, that in all honesty, the signage is dire.

Anyway, don't fall for the 'divide and conquer' routine. Let's tool up, join forces and exploit the respective fears our home county's instill in the Jackeens. Very Happy

If we had a smiley with a dagger I could be a lot funnier.

'Solidarity for Signage' could be our slogan?
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 2:10 pm

Zhou_Enlai wrote:
Ah, so that's Waterford. They were telling lies though don't you know. My sister lived in Waterford and she was made feel very welcome. She had a circle of friend within a couple of months of moving down there.


Is Cork perhaps the mythical beautiful cultural capital of the south where a proud and honourable race spend their entire time being either ignored or persecuted by the rest of the country; but never complaining? A place where people with Dublin registered cars are welcome on the quays and are given every chance to familiarise themselves with the exciting and innovative lane system that operates?

You're projecting again Zhou. It's a known psychological phenomenon - a syndrome experienced by those who are unable to cope with the challenge of facing their own faults. They can describe them perfectly but are unable to take that critical step of accepting that it is themselves they are talking about without imploding - and so attribute them to people they wish they could be like. I hope this information isn't too distressing for you btw? Have you a friend or psychotherapist nearby?
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 2:12 pm

Slogans are for folks who stand outside buildings and chant at folks. I was thinking of painting every confusing sign white and drawing big red ?'s on them.
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 3:03 pm

Aragon wrote:
Zhou_Enlai wrote:
Ah, so that's Waterford. They were telling lies though don't you know. My sister lived in Waterford and she was made feel very welcome. She had a circle of friend within a couple of months of moving down there.


Is Cork perhaps the mythical beautiful cultural capital of the south where a proud and honourable race spend their entire time being either ignored or persecuted by the rest of the country; but never complaining? A place where people with Dublin registered cars are welcome on the quays and are given every chance to familiarise themselves with the exciting and innovative lane system that operates?

You're projecting again Zhou. It's a known psychological phenomenon - a syndrome experienced by those who are unable to cope with the challenge of facing their own faults. They can describe them perfectly but are unable to take that critical step of accepting that it is themselves they are talking about without imploding - and so attribute them to people they wish they could be like. I hope this information isn't too distressing for you btw? Have you a friend or psychotherapist nearby?

I have friends a-go-go all around me I am happy to say. I have no faith in psychotherapists or psychologists; if they couldn't make it into medecine in UCC, TCD or UCD then they are barred from entry into my head. In fact, the psychiatrists can stay outside too - I get my therapy on the internet!
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:21 pm

Gosh, you provincials are so delightfully comic!
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:29 pm

Paranoid ramblings of the provincial lumpenproles. We have better ways to ensure our comprehensive dominance of Ireland! Twisted Evil
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:20 pm

You'll never find us here Ard Taoiseach. We got all the Limerick signs, and we sure as hell ain't Limerick.

For anyone who would like to direct their complaints further, the signs on the National Roads and Motorways are all in the hands of the NRA and the rest with the local authorities. My theory is that the concept of directional signage (signage that shows you which way to go, in time for you took make the appropriate manoevres safely) is unknown in either of these organisations. Signage in Ireland is looked upon purely as ornamental and descriptive, as in "that was the turn-off to Cavan that you just missed".
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:17 am

cactus flower wrote:
You'll never find us here Ard Taoiseach. We got all the Limerick signs, and we sure as hell ain't Limerick.

Mmm. Our LiviaSat has you tracked down to the vicinity of Waterford. A Hill 16 detachment is being dispatched presently.

Quote :
For anyone who would like to direct their complaints further, the signs on the National Roads and Motorways are all in the hands of the NRA and the rest with the local authorities. My theory is that the concept of directional signage (signage that shows you which way to go, in time for you took make the appropriate manoevres safely) is unknown in either of these organisations. Signage in Ireland is looked upon purely as ornamental and descriptive, as in "that was the turn-off to Cavan that you just missed".

Indeed. It adds an element of whimsy to a journey around Ireland.
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:26 am

Anyone who has ever tried to travel from Clare (Ennis) to Dublin will know that there are actually no signs for Dublin in Limerick or its vicinity and that you have to follow signs for... wait for it... Cork, to avoid the city centre and then eventually - in Birdhill or somewhere, find a sign for Dublin.

And when you pass that one sign for Cork, there aren't any more until you get to Birdhill...
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:28 am

Kate P wrote:
Anyone who has ever tried to travel from Clare (Ennis) to Dublin will know that there are actually no signs for Dublin in Limerick or its vicinity and that you have to follow signs for... wait for it... Cork, to avoid the city centre and then eventually - in Birdhill or somewhere, find a sign for Dublin.

And when you pass that one sign for Cork, there aren't any more until you get to Birdhill...

Madness. It's like a nation-size "Where's Wally?" competition. You have to scour the highways and by-ways for elusive signage to our main urban centres.
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:38 am

Husband and I generally get on very well but driving together is a nightmare. I like to know what's ahead of me - what lane to be in, where there's a bus lane about to magic itself out of nowhere.

Which is marvellous fun in Dublin, where bus lanes do magic themselves out of thin air, three lanes morph into four, four into three, two into a roundabout that leads onto another roundabout that has signs on each exit that are at an angle you can only read when you've passed them, signs are infront of - or after the exit or not at all, Get In Lane signs appear when it's too late to get in lane and you end up on the Longmile Road without meaning to, a startling absence of right turns, a preponderance of oneway streets (why can't cars turn left off Dawson Street onto Nassau Street except taxis? That one still bugs me) I'm no longer entirely sure what direction to go around St Stephen's Green, the North Quays are made of Meccano but nobody likes to talk about that, post Celtic Tiger, the N7 Southbound travels perpendicular to the southbound M50...
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:43 am

Kate P wrote:

Which is marvellous fun in Dublin, where bus lanes do magic themselves out of thin air, three lanes morph into four, four into three, two into a roundabout that leads onto another roundabout that has signs on each exit that are at an angle you can only read when you've passed them, signs are infront of - or after the exit or not at all, Get In Lane signs appear when it's too late to get in lane and you end up on the Longmile Road without meaning to, a startling absence of right turns, a preponderance of oneway streets (why can't cars turn left off Dawson Street onto Nassau Street except taxis? That one still bugs me) I'm no longer entirely sure what direction to go around St Stephen's Green, the North Quays are made of Meccano but nobody likes to talk about that, post Celtic Tiger, the N7 Southbound travels perpendicular to the southbound M50...

I don't notice much of that. I'm usually on the bus into Town and let the driver deal with the curiosities of Dublin transport. I think you go clockwise around St Stephen's Green.
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:49 am

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:
. I think you go clockwise around St Stephen's Green.

Depends which way you are going. You can go either way at the bottom of Lesson Street but you can only go anti-clockwise if you join from Ely Place. You can only go straight on if you get to the bottom of Harcourt Street but you will then be forced to turn left off the Green by the Unitarian Church. Good luck to you if you come up Kildare Street, you are going clockwise but forced back down to Ely Place!
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:56 am

PreLuas it was possible to go around the Green until you got Greensick - and it was clockwise in those days I think.
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:01 am

Kate P wrote:
PreLuas it was possible to go around the Green until you got Greensick - and it was clockwise in those days I think.

Correct. You can still go clockwise from Harcourt Street to Dawson Street on a bike, as I do most days lately. If you are coming up Kildare Street on a bike you can go clockwise again. Who knows how you are meant to get whatever is in between Dawson Street and Kildare Street on a bike - proverbial pergatory by the looks of it. Who needs to go to Anglo Irish Bank anyway though!
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:04 am

johnfás wrote:
Kate P wrote:
PreLuas it was possible to go around the Green until you got Greensick - and it was clockwise in those days I think.

Correct. You can still go clockwise from Harcourt Street to Dawson Street on a bike, as I do most days lately. If you are coming up Kildare Street on a bike you can go clockwise again. Who knows how you are meant to get whatever is in between Dawson Street and Kildare Street on a bike - proverbial pergatory by the looks of it. Who needs to go to Anglo Irish Bank anyway though!

Shareholders bearing pitchforks and burning effigies of David Drumm and Seán Fitzpatrick!
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:10 am

I know a lot of people who absolutely refuse to drive in Dublin.
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PostSubject: Re: Dublin is trying to keep Cork a secret   Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:17 am

Kate P wrote:
I know a lot of people who absolutely refuse to drive in Dublin.

Try cycling with people who decide the footpath is a good place to drive to avoide the Dublin road network! Not very nice when you are the one thing between the road and the footpath!
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