Catholic Funeral

Bit of an odd question.

I haven't been to a Catholic funeral since I was little. Most funerals I would go to tend to be Protestant funerals. However, I'm going to one this week. The removal is happening just before the funeral (in the morning) and I plan on going to the funeral and not the removal. Wondering do I just go and take my seat in the Church and wait for things to get going (arrival of the body and family etc) or is one expected to wait outside the Church until the body arrives?

Cheers!

That's rather an unusual circumstance. Normally the body is removed the night before, and a mass is said. The next morning the funeral is held. As far as I remember, if the body is being removed, it is perfectly acceptable to wait outside for the coffin to arrive. That said, it is not insulting to be in the church before it arrives either.

It's the funeral of a friend's grandmother. The day before the funeral is my friend's birthday so I would assume that had some bearing on the fact that there is not going to be a traditional removal the night before. Also, she is from a mixed marraige, which attend a Protestant Church and I believe her grandmother is the only of her generation left so it is essentially a Protestant family having a Catholic funeral for their grandmother. Also not the most normal situation.

The notice is for a removal from the funeral director's 20 minutes before the funeral and going straight to the Church. Personally I would sort of rather wait inside the Church but I wouldn't want to do the wrong thing.

johnfás wrote:

It's the funeral of a friend's grandmother. The day before the funeral is my friend's birthday so I would assume that had some bearing on the fact that there is not going to be a traditional removal the night before. Also, she is from a mixed marraige, which attend a Protestant Church and I believe her grandmother is the only of her generation left so it is essentially a Protestant family having a Catholic funeral for their grandmother. Also not the most normal situation.

The notice is for a removal from the funeral director's 20 minutes before the funeral and going straight to the Church. Personally I would sort of rather wait inside the Church but I wouldn't want to do the wrong thing.

I think you're safe enough staying inside. Just don't eat the host, there'll be people watching :-)

johnfás wrote:

It's the funeral of a friend's grandmother. The day before the funeral is my friend's birthday so I would assume that had some bearing on the fact that there is not going to be a traditional removal the night before. Also, she is from a mixed marraige, which attend a Protestant Church and I believe her grandmother is the only of her generation left so it is essentially a Protestant family having a Catholic funeral for their grandmother. Also not the most normal situation.

The notice is for a removal from the funeral director's 20 minutes before the funeral and going straight to the Church. Personally I would sort of rather wait inside the Church but I wouldn't want to do the wrong thing.

Well...as a practicing Catholic I've been to dozens of Catholic funerals. I've (in the majority of cases) gone to home of the deceased, gone with the family, friends and any other mourners to the funeral directors. We'd then go from the funeral directors to the church. A short ceremony would ensue. We'd then go home after that. In the following morning, we would return to the church. We'd usually(after some social preamble outside) head into the church and participate in the requiem Mass. After this, we'd follow the coffin to the cemetery where a decade of the Rosary could be said, after that the coffin is interred and then it's off to the pub afterward.

Out of curiosity, how do Protestant funerals differ from Catholic ones Johnfás?

905 wrote:

Out of curiosity, how do Protestant funerals differ from Catholic ones Johnfás?

I've gone to one CoI funeral and I remember that there was a lot more singing and more a family-ceremony feeling about it. It seemed more personalised and less of a standard issue funeral. The funeral in the Catholic faith is less given to personal and familial touches, the funeral is more for the community than simply the family of the deceased.

Well I presume, given that it is called a funeral mass, that communion is taken at a Catholic funeral. This would not be the case in a Protestant service, where in the context of a funeral, it would only be a service, rather than a communion service.

Ard is correct in that, aside from the essential liturgy which would occur in all Protestant funeral services there is generally a large amount of room for manouevre in regard to what happens. My grandfather's funeral was a few weeks ago, we had 4 hymns, 2 pieces of music, 2 bible readings, a short sermon and 3 personal tributes. Two of which were professional and one was personal, as in the son-in-law (my dad).

johnfás wrote:

Well I presume, given that it is called a funeral mass, that communion is taken at a Catholic funeral. This would not be the case in a Protestant service, where in the context of a funeral, it would only be a service, rather than a communion service.

That's another big difference. Now that you say it, I remember that there was no Communion.

Quote :

Ard is correct in that, aside from the essential liturgy which would occur in all Protestant funeral services there is generally a large amount of room for manouevre in regard to what happens. My grandfather's funeral was a few weeks ago, we had 4 hymns, 2 pieces of music, 2 bible readings, a short sermon and 3 personal tributes. Two of which were professional and one was personal, as in the son-in-law (my dad).

We're virtually all Catholics in my familiy(except for the English cousins, my Dutch uncle and one set of cousins from one family), there was a death in my Irish Protestant cousins' family so I was at my first ever Protestant funeral about three years ago.

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

We're virtually all Catholics in my familiy(except for the English cousins, my Dutch uncle and one set of cousins from one family), there was a death in my Irish Protestant cousins' family so I was at my first ever Protestant funeral about three years ago.

*blows out candle*.

We're quite an inbred bunch really. All my grandparents would be Protestants, only one of my parent's siblings married a Catholic and now he would attend a Protestant Church. The cousins, now thats an entirely different kettle of fish, most of the cousins would be going out with Catholic boys and girls. Sign of generational differences I guess. I'm the only of my cousins who would have a Protestant girlfriend/boyfriend.

Wait outside. It's the proper thing to do. Even if it's raining.

Everyone stands around in small groups and comments on how it's always this type of occasion where you see X and Y, then the family arrive, the coffin is brought in, and everyone else follows.

The last funeral I was at had the removal directly beforehand, and this was the procedure followed.

And as we all seem to be presenting our religious credentials, my family are fairly strict Catholics. I haven't figured out yet how to break it to them that the boyf is a heathen. I mean, they took it pretty hard when they heard that he smoked!

TheBear wrote:

I haven't figured out yet how to break it to them that the boyf is a heathen.

They'll take it better than if he was something like a wiccan I would imagine!


My parents wouldn't approve of the smoking either. But the mother being a doctor would probably get very annoying in terms of seeing her role as trying to help him/her overcome the addiction!

TheBear wrote:

And as we all seem to be presenting our religious credentials, my family are fairly strict Catholics. I haven't figured out yet how to break it to them that the boyf is a heathen. I mean, they took it pretty hard when they heard that he smoked!

Ah, it reminds me of the day my cousin married a Protestant. The granny was only told on the way down to the church. It was well-timed, the state of shock kept here docile throughout the ceremony and the following reception.

I wasn't there but I heard her relating the bizzare rituals the next day. A woman minister, imagine! Grace before the dinner?!

riadach wrote:

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

We're virtually all Catholics in my familiy(except for the English cousins, my Dutch uncle and one set of cousins from one family), there was a death in my Irish Protestant cousins' family so I was at my first ever Protestant funeral about three years ago.

*blows out candle*.

What're you shocked about, riadach?

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

riadach wrote:

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

We're virtually all Catholics in my familiy(except for the English cousins, my Dutch uncle and one set of cousins from one family), there was a death in my Irish Protestant cousins' family so I was at my first ever Protestant funeral about three years ago.

*blows out candle*.

What're you shocked about, riadach?

riadach wrote:

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

riadach wrote:

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

We're virtually all Catholics in my familiy(except for the English cousins, my Dutch uncle and one set of cousins from one family), there was a death in my Irish Protestant cousins' family so I was at my first ever Protestant funeral about three years ago.

*blows out candle*.

What're you shocked about, riadach?

I see. Thanks riadach.

I wouldn't thank me. Get onto your parish priest straight away and get it sorted lol.

riadach wrote:

I wouldn't thank me. Get onto your parish priest straight away and get it sorted lol.

I was being sarcastic, riadach. Never you mind, I'm slipping catechism pills into their cornflakes. They'll be Catholics by the time I'm finished with them! Mwahahahaha!!!

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

riadach wrote:

I wouldn't thank me. Get onto your parish priest straight away and get it sorted lol.

I was being sarcastic, riadach. Never you mind, I'm slipping catechism pills into their cornflakes. They'll be Catholics by the time I'm finished with them! Mwahahahaha!!!

In the olden days we just used cyanide. Glad to see things have moved on.

johnfás wrote:

Well I presume, given that it is called a funeral mass, that communion is taken at a Catholic funeral. This would not be the case in a Protestant service, where in the context of a funeral, it would only be a service, rather than a communion service.

Ard is correct in that, aside from the essential liturgy which would occur in all Protestant funeral services there is generally a large amount of room for manouevre in regard to what happens. My grandfather's funeral was a few weeks ago, we had 4 hymns, 2 pieces of music, 2 bible readings, a short sermon and 3 personal tributes. Two of which were professional and one was personal, as in the son-in-law (my dad).

Catholic funerals were for a while very personal. I went to one about 7 years ago of a young man (very young) who had worked for me. His girl friends sang a Radiohead song that he had loved, it was a very eery keening sound, and another family member sang a religious song he had liked.

There were some things put on his coffin, I think his GAA boots and a piece of work he had done. The priest spoke about how he couldn't really see a bright side to it.

About two years later I heard on the news that priests had been instructed to stop all this and return to standard liturgy.

riadach wrote:

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

riadach wrote:

I wouldn't thank me. Get onto your parish priest straight away and get it sorted lol.

I was being sarcastic, riadach. Never you mind, I'm slipping catechism pills into their cornflakes. They'll be Catholics by the time I'm finished with them! Mwahahahaha!!!

In the olden days we just used cyanide. Glad to see things have moved on.

Well, you see we're in competition with the atheists and the Muslims now. We have to build mindshare, we have to build consumer retention rates. Ergo, we have to convert people to our cause now and expand our customer base. It's mostly a defensive reaction in changed market circumstances.

We used to be a monopoly. No longer, sigh.

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

Well, you see we're in competition with the atheists and the Muslims now. We have to build mindshare, we have to build consumer retention rates. Ergo, we have to convert people to our cause now and expand our customer base. It's mostly a defensive reaction in changed market circumstances.

We used to be a monopoly. No longer, sigh.

Will they be attracting the average homosexual male?

This may work. http://www.myartspace.com/blog/2007/07/art-space-news-controversial-sculpture.html

riadach wrote:

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

Well, you see we're in competition with the atheists and the Muslims now. We have to build mindshare, we have to build consumer retention rates. Ergo, we have to convert people to our cause now and expand our customer base. It's mostly a defensive reaction in changed market circumstances.

We used to be a monopoly. No longer, sigh.

Will they be attracting the average homosexual male?

This may work. http://www.myartspace.com/blog/2007/07/art-space-news-controversial-sculpture.html

Pfffhhh!!! Well! Ah, there are opportunities presented to the Catholic Church by pursuing the homosexual market. Homosexuals have a higher disposable income and expenditure patterns than the national average. The downside is that there are poor secondary growth possibilities from homosexuals. No children means no christenings, confessions, communions and confirmations. We have to sddress that.