cactus flower wrote:

Auditor #9 wrote:

Very accurate observations there Edo about our age group - there is no dating culture for those in their mid thirties and when you're not hitched by then then people regard you funnily alright. I'm used to this though having spent 7 years in the past as a vegetarian. But you don't sound like you want to get hitched at all which is how it normally feels for me, unfortunately for my genes. I don't think I could share the responsibility of babies and have run away from a relationship or two in the past .. I'll have to book in for a donation some day instead...

Is it off topic to drag up the term f**k buddyism? That's the way to go for a big portion of future mankind between the sheets in my honest opinion - sex and fun without the population or committment. Lately I'm thinking I could settle down now with a girl I met over 15 years ago (as I like to take off now and then it would be 'settling up' though.) That's how long it takes for it to sink in for some of us.

cactus how does this work in the relationship from a distance thing? do you meet the person enough to constantly renew your relationship or something? that interests me too though I do like company over long periods too and as I'm getting on a bit more each day I wonder if I'm ever going to dissemminate myself at all and it gets a bit worrying... I think the thoughts of the hassle of a long term committment with children in it are slightly outweighed by the footlooseness and fancyfreedom of batchelorhoodism ... As long as too many people don't feel this way then the human race is ok and no one can make us breed... Strangely I've met a few girls with this kind of outlook too ...

We both travel and we both work quite intensely and that gives us a bit of a break from being together all the time, then now and then we have just had stretches of remoteness, not unfriendly but a bit distant and then out of the blue 'click' again. I think we've learned to give each other a bit of space.

People make long term relationships for a lot of different reasons, I suppose that's why they happen in spite of all the obvious difficulties. There is a lot of attraction to people just in the companionship and conformity, and not dying on your own and being eaten by the alsatian (or the cats). I would guess the crazy hormonal stuff and being young and senseless really helps when your having children. I've seen older guys for whom its very difficult to cope with having babies - I think it might be to do with the stage of career they are at in their thirties and forties: their minds are just in another place. If a guy is more laid back and more home oriented then it must be easier.
It sounds like guys get to hear the sound of the biological clock ticking as well as women.

Interesting (not least because I didn't realise you were a woman until today ). I wonder if the having children thing when you're older being difficult to cope with is entirely accurate - or does it depend on the men. Not so much in my experience of my friends (I'm thinking of people in their late 30s early 40s). But then again, a large number of my generation (ahem) seem to have left the having of children until those years. Another thing that strikes me is that many of us again in the early 40s age bracket were terrified of having children young...parental and societal pressure combined. I think that might have been a mistake for many, making them put it off and off.

Here's another thought again. I think the dating culture, and it's not something I have direct experience of in a long while, but from friends of mine in the 20s, early 30s and late 30s through to 40s is nightmarish, particularly towards the upper end of the scale. Women friends of mine on the 30ish point bemoan the surplus of other women in Dublin (I'm being very parochial in my observations to all beyond the Pale - apologies). Male friends of mine who're single or divorced in their mid to late 30s find it almost impossible to meet women. Except - and this interests me - through music gigs and suchlike. Then those friends who are gay or lesbian seem to have it very slightly easier at those ages due to fairly strong community networks.

Anyhow, it's all a mess. But then again maybe it always was.

Incidentally Edo, the baggage thing is a very good point which people I know have run up against. The idea being that if you're male and not married you're regarded as having some sort of mental problem you're hiding and if you're female ditto or you're over the hill. Pretty loathsome perceptions.

I hope its not happening to anyone tonight...

cactus flower wrote:

I hope its not happening to anyone tonight...

As long as my date puts out...

...the washing?
...the bins?
...the cat?

Kate P wrote:

...the washing?
...the bins?
...the cat?

Sorry to keep you waiting, Kate P. I'm here now, and I certainly didn't stand you up, my computer just died on me this afternoon(I haven't updated my virus protection for months, so I think that's to blame), apologies for my tardiness.

Kate P wrote:

...the washing?
...the bins?
...the cat?

Either of the three would keep me happy. If she empties the dishwasher she's a keeper!

Good dishwasher emptiers are hard to find - and should you come across one you should grapple her to your heart (or dishwasher) with hooks of steel.

AT, you're forgiven but only because you used the word tardiness which is quite charming.

Kate P wrote:

AT, you're forgiven but only because you used the word tardiness which is quite charming.

Thanks, would you like anything to eat, drink etc?

Thank you. I've had a look around the Food Tent and nothing really appeals to me just now. But I'm itching to dance (or maybe it's the costume?) - choose a record to get us all started.

Kate P wrote:

Thank you. I've had a look around the Food Tent and nothing really appeals to me just now. But I'm itching to dance (or maybe it's the costume?) - choose a record to get us all started.

Righteo, I could magick up something from the interweb if you want.

Kate P wrote:

Good dishwasher emptiers are hard to find - and should you come across one you should grapple her to your heart (or dishwasher) with hooks of steel.

Our wedding vows will cement our relationship, I'll do the ironing if you empty the dishwasher.

cookiemonster wrote:

Kate P wrote:

Good dishwasher emptiers are hard to find - and should you come across one you should grapple her to your heart (or dishwasher) with hooks of steel.

Our wedding vows will cement our relationship, I'll do the ironing if you empty the dishwasher.

I also like emptying dishwashers, I also hate ironing, we could go Mormon, cookiemonster!

I wish you both long life and happiness together.

Kate P wrote:

I wish you both long life and happiness together.

Ah now, don't you be backing out!

Ard-Taoiseach wrote:

cookiemonster wrote:

Kate P wrote:

Good dishwasher emptiers are hard to find - and should you come across one you should grapple her to your heart (or dishwasher) with hooks of steel.

Our wedding vows will cement our relationship, I'll do the ironing if you empty the dishwasher.

I also like emptying dishwashers, I also hate ironing, we could go Mormon, cookiemonster!

Ironing should be banned.

Is it too late to get that into the Lisbon Thingy ?

With one of you to iron and the other to empty the dishwasher I am happily redundant.

The Lisbon Thingy?

Kate P wrote:

With one of you to iron and the other to empty the dishwasher I am happily redundant.

You could cook. With all those book clubs you cater for, you'd be great.

That's the wrong answer, AT. Try again.

cactus flower wrote:

The Lisbon Thingy?

Yeh. You know. The Lisbon Referendum thingy ? Or Thingy Thingy as it's known locally.

Kate P wrote:

That's the wrong answer, AT. Try again.

You could supervise!

EvotingMachine0197 wrote:

cactus flower wrote:

The Lisbon Thingy?

Yeh. You know. The Lisbon Referendum thingy ? Or Thingy Thingy as it's known locally.

Well everything else is in it, so I don't see why not.

But would that mean we would have to vote for it, or iron?

cactus flower wrote:

EvotingMachine0197 wrote:

cactus flower wrote:

The Lisbon Thingy?

Yeh. You know. The Lisbon Referendum thingy ? Or Thingy Thingy as it's known locally.

Well everything else is in it, so I don't see why not.

But would that mean we would have to vote for it, or iron?

Thats a leading question.

In my house the ironong is done by the President.

Kate P wrote:

That's the wrong answer, AT. Try again.

Kate P, this machine of mine is still touch and go, if I'm ever to talk to you or any of the other Machine Nationals, I'll have to put it to bed to rest for the night.

It's been great delivering the address to the Congress of the Machine Nation, perusing the party food tent and enjoying all the joie de vivre.

See you in the Sibín tomorrow!