The Romantic Industrial Complex

I heard someone on the radio today mention the Romantic Industrial Complex. Apparently this is Hallmark, the Disney Engagement Suite, mass booked Valentine dinners, overpriced scentless red roses and "Eternity" rings usw.

There is a guy in the States who runs a "how to propose" advice service. His example of how not to do it was the fella who asked his girlfriend around for a home-cooked dinner and spelled out MARRY ME in peas

The correct way seems to involve a long weekend in an exclusive boutique hotel and hire of an industrial-size rose petal blower.

Is this stuff really necessary and does it work? Is it just another ephemeral sign of the vacuousness of the boom?

Without the Romantic Industrial Complex, can a person capture the affections of the desired other ?

Well people's affections and loves for one another has been an enduring feature of humanity. As a result of that a market for methods of expressing that love and affection has always existed. It is only natural that Disney and Hallmark would seek to capitalise on this feature of human life. While some elements of it are certainly tacky, vacuous and gaudy it nevertheless remains an industry of indefinite shelf-life.

cactus flower wrote:

I heard someone on the radio today mention the Romantic Industrial Complex. Apparently this is Hallmark, the Disney Engagement Suite, mass booked Valentine dinners, overpriced scentless red roses and "Eternity" rings usw.

There is a guy in the States who runs a "how to propose" advice service. His example of how not to do it was the fella who asked his girlfriend around for a home-cooked dinner and spelled out MARRY ME in peas

The correct way seems to involve a long weekend in an exclusive boutique hotel and hire of an industrial-size rose petal blower.

Is this stuff really necessary and does it work? Is it just another ephemeral sign of the vacuousness of the boom?

Without the Romantic Industrial Complex, can a person capture the affections of the desired other ?

Well of course the correct way of doing it involves spending shit loads of money. It always does these days if we are foolish enough to listen to the marketeers.

Personally, I find the tin of peas method more romantic.

I don't think you can blame the media or other sectors for exploiting people's idiocy. That is after all their job.

I have sympathy for young homeowners who were duped into buying homes on the basis of incorrect advise that if they didn't now they would never own a home. However, I have no sympathy for adults who are simply duped by the latest consumer trend.

I have an old fashioned box television, I am no less of a mortal than my neighbour who has a 42 inch lcd full hd flatscreen with matching surround sound. I do however have more money to spend on the finer things in life than them. It isn't Sonys fault that they decided to blow their money on depreciable expenditure which gives them no appreciable joy.

The fazz for sports cars, designer labels and questionable aftershave is nothing but the fault of the consumer. The people buying this are adults for goodness sake. I wonder how many people will go to this nonsense at the K Club in a week's time to massage their deluded sense of self grandeur. I got a pair of free tickets but aside from the fact it's during my exams I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. I can just imagine the botoxed blondes with their roof down and the familiar smell of CK1 prancing around as if they are footballer's wives.

/rant ends

I was in canada last autumn and was there for "boss's day".
there were about 50 different types of cards for your boss ranging from the sychophantic to the comic.

Boss's Day

There's a reasonable anecdotal correlation between the commercial romanticism of the proposal and the success of the resulting engagement/marriage. Most of the longest-married couples I've ever met knew each other well enough that marriage was a joint decision rather than a proposal as such.

ibis wrote:

There's a reasonable anecdotal correlation between the commercial romanticism of the proposal and the success of the resulting engagement/marriage. Most of the longest-married couples I've ever met knew each other well enough that marriage was a joint decision rather than a proposal as such.

Were you proposed to Ibis ?

cactus flower wrote:

ibis wrote:

There's a reasonable anecdotal correlation between the commercial romanticism of the proposal and the success of the resulting engagement/marriage. Most of the longest-married couples I've ever met knew each other well enough that marriage was a joint decision rather than a proposal as such.

Were you proposed to Ibis ?

No, I did the proposing...

ibis wrote:

cactus flower wrote:

ibis wrote:

There's a reasonable anecdotal correlation between the commercial romanticism of the proposal and the success of the resulting engagement/marriage. Most of the longest-married couples I've ever met knew each other well enough that marriage was a joint decision rather than a proposal as such.

Were you proposed to Ibis ?

No, I did the proposing...

peas ?

well, my gf started discussing wedding plans, and choosing ring then i proposed but it was for form's sake only.

ibis wrote:

There's a reasonable anecdotal correlation between the commercial romanticism of the proposal and the success of the resulting engagement/marriage. Most of the longest-married couples I've ever met knew each other well enough that marriage was a joint decision rather than a proposal as such.

Bout one of the sanest sentences written on marriage that I've come across in a long time.

Oh no! I agree with Ibis on something. Strange times.

rockyracoon wrote:

ibis wrote:

There's a reasonable anecdotal correlation between the commercial romanticism of the proposal and the success of the resulting engagement/marriage. Most of the longest-married couples I've ever met knew each other well enough that marriage was a joint decision rather than a proposal as such.

Bout one of the sanest sentences written on marriage that I've come across in a long time.

Oh no! I agree with Ibis on something. Strange times.

I agreed with him once too: strange times indeed.

I'm not sure that I believe all this solid sanity. In general I've found that men are more inclined to romantic gestures than women, and are also more appreciative of them. A woman will be being hustled off for a mystery trip to Paris or the chipper and she will be saying "hang on, just let me check that I've turned off the drippy tap, or " I have to know where we're going so I know what to pack" or whatever. Men seem more able to just go with the flow and enjoy it.

Commercial romance is a big "service station bouquet" turn off usually, except that service station bouquets can be kind of cute provided that they don't mean you are expected to forgive multiple unfaithfulness because of them.

The peas would have had me at "MARRY...

cactus flower wrote:

I agreed with him once too: strange times indeed.

I'm not sure that I believe all this solid sanity. In general I've found that men are more inclined to romantic gestures than women, and are also more appreciative of them. A woman will be being hustled off for a mystery trip to Paris or the chipper and she will be saying "hang on, just let me check that I've turned off the drippy tap, or " I have to know where we're going so I know what to pack" or whatever. Men seem more able to just go with the flow and enjoy it.

Commercial romance is a big "service station bouquet" turn off usually, except that service station bouquets can be kind of cute provided that they don't mean you are expected to forgive multiple unfaithfulness because of them.

The peas would have had me at "MARRY...

Oh, I don't know. I've heard the urban legend in NY where the fella says: "I've come to the conclusion we have two healthy balance sheets and our respective cash flow projections look healthy. How about a merger?" Romantic, or wha?

I'd even marry the guy with the peas.

Auditor #9 wrote:

I'd even marry the guy with the peas.

You'll be able to have the pick of the crop with that Auditor #9.

That's COOL!

johnfás wrote:

I don't think you can blame the media or other sectors for exploiting people's idiocy. That is after all their job.

I have sympathy for young homeowners who were duped into buying homes on the basis of incorrect advise that if they didn't now they would never own a home. However, I have no sympathy for adults who are simply duped by the latest consumer trend.

I have an old fashioned box television, I am no less of a mortal than my neighbour who has a 42 inch lcd full hd flatscreen with matching surround sound. I do however have more money to spend on the finer things in life than them. It isn't Sonys fault that they decided to blow their money on depreciable expenditure which gives them no appreciable joy.

The fazz for sports cars, designer labels and questionable aftershave is nothing but the fault of the consumer. The people buying this are adults for goodness sake. I wonder how many people will go to this nonsense at the K Club in a week's time to massage their deluded sense of self grandeur. I got a pair of free tickets but aside from the fact it's during my exams I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. I can just imagine the botoxed blondes with their roof down and the familiar smell of CK1 prancing around as if they are footballer's wives.

/rant ends

I'm going to that! But just for a look see and I live there so I'm not paying €15 quid in!

Auditor #9 wrote:

I'd even marry the guy with the peas.

Me too. Far more tastefully done than if it was beans. Says a lot about a man...

cactus flower wrote:

ibis wrote:

cactus flower wrote:

ibis wrote:

There's a reasonable anecdotal correlation between the commercial romanticism of the proposal and the success of the resulting engagement/marriage. Most of the longest-married couples I've ever met knew each other well enough that marriage was a joint decision rather than a proposal as such.

Were you proposed to Ibis ?

No, I did the proposing...

peas ?

Kids' clothes section in Dunnes...

cactus flower wrote:

rockyracoon wrote:

ibis wrote:

There's a reasonable anecdotal correlation between the commercial romanticism of the proposal and the success of the resulting engagement/marriage. Most of the longest-married couples I've ever met knew each other well enough that marriage was a joint decision rather than a proposal as such.

Bout one of the sanest sentences written on marriage that I've come across in a long time.

Oh no! I agree with Ibis on something. Strange times.

I agreed with him once too: strange times indeed.

Be quiet you filthy lefties.

cactus flower wrote:

I'm not sure that I believe all this solid sanity. In general I've found that men are more inclined to romantic gestures than women, and are also more appreciative of them. A woman will be being hustled off for a mystery trip to Paris or the chipper and she will be saying "hang on, just let me check that I've turned off the drippy tap, or " I have to know where we're going so I know what to pack" or whatever. Men seem more able to just go with the flow and enjoy it.

Commercial romance is a big "service station bouquet" turn off usually, except that service station bouquets can be kind of cute provided that they don't mean you are expected to forgive multiple unfaithfulness because of them.

Eh, men are into the whole 'equipment' side of things. Flowers and chocolates are 'romance gadgets' - a mechanical substitute for being able to pull off the real thing. A lot of men assume it's the size of your rock that counts, rather than what you do with it.

Quote :

Quote :

cactus flower wrote:
I'm not sure that I believe all this solid sanity. In general I've found that men are more inclined to romantic gestures than women, and are also more appreciative of them. A woman will be being hustled off for a mystery trip to Paris or the chipper and she will be saying "hang on, just let me check that I've turned off the drippy tap, or " I have to know where we're going so I know what to pack" or whatever. Men seem more able to just go with the flow and enjoy it.

Commercial romance is a big "service station bouquet" turn off usually, except that service station bouquets can be kind of cute provided that they don't mean you are expected to forgive multiple unfaithfulness because of them.

Eh, men are into the whole 'equipment' side of things. Flowers and chocolates are 'romance gadgets' - a mechanical substitute for being able to pull off the real thing. A lot of men assume it's the size of your rock that counts, rather than what you do with it.

Flowers are romantic power tools, essential for getting the job done?

Commercial romance is really a phase, isn't it? A step on the path towards growing up - one of those things you get caught up in the excitement of - like a debs or a frilly wedding dress, or playing on the first 15 in schools' rugby because it seems like a natural step in the personal development of the individual.

And there's a huge amount of peer pressure and social expectation that determines how commercially romantic a person may be in their actions and those actions are probably inversely proportional to the lack of knowledge of your partner; the less you know them, the more likely you are to perform generic romantic gestures. And perhaps the more you want to know them (or the more you are secretly afraid of them?) the more likely you are to go overboard in your performance. Maybe?

The longer and better you know someone, the easier it is to be really romantic - to know what little thing will make them happy as opposed to a big gesture, in other words, showing that you understand the person and that you care. Hallmark doesn't do that kind of romance, but if it did, it would be a wordless mug of coffee when you're exhausted but have to keep going or saying nothing when you've gotten lost after following his directions to the letter.